AoS-Fest II : The Return of the Green Monkey
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Day 1: Friday October 1st
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Friday night....out on the town in Nashvegas!
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| Zodiac13: Didn't get in 'til latenight
friday, went to Mulligans Irish Pub. Drank quite a bit of Smithwick's
while waiting for the gang to return from the park. Drank quite a
bit of Smithwick's while listening to the most mind-numbingly idiotic
conversation between two professional window washers. Guess what it
was about? Yep. Washing windows!
Made our way to lovely, gorgeous Printer's Alley. For those of
you unfamiliar with Printers Alley, let me clue you in. At one time,
it was a really cool, out of the way place where, on any given night,
you could walk into one of the juke joints & see Johnny Cash,
Buck Owens, Willie Nelson, or perhaps Joe Don Baker performing in
a small, intimate setting. Now, it is a shithole with gangbanger
ghetto bars & hideous Coyote Ugly-style Karaoke dumps. Awesome.
After watching this third rate band butcher second rate Eagles covers,
Mrs. Zodiac and myself finally hooked up with the rest of the gang.
At this point, there was She & I, Amorone, TGM, Alva Collector,
Gusto, ShackleMeNot, Little John & Jay Sililias. We now had
a posse. We now had a purpose.
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| ShackleMeNot: So after all the skating,
we all went back to the hotel to change and get ready for the nightlife.
I just changed my shirt and lacquered on some spray deodorant, in
order not to smell. The crew was Jeff, Steve, Tom and wife, Jay, Gusto,
myself, and I can't remember who else was there that night. We walked
back across the street to Printer's Alley. |
| Amorone: When ShackleMeNot says he "put
on deodorant", he is not telling the full story...he bathed in
deodorant!!! He wears that "Axe" spray on stuff or whatever....I
think he believes the commercials...haha. |
Gusto makes the first of many pit stops
(click for high resolution fun!)
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Some kind of Indie rock band album cover?
(the crew in Printer's Alley)
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Planning in Printer's Alley
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| Zodiac13: Pt. 2 "Hot Dogs, Metrosexuals
& Collective Memory Loss".....While still in Printers Alley, deciding what we needed to do, we
notice a Hot Dog window vendor selling beer. Now, we don't see anyone
drinking this beer, but, we do see a lot of sales going on. Turns
out, you buy beer from the hot dog window, THEN you walk across
the alley to the strip club where the metrosexual dude in the white
turtleneck works and he hooks you up with a fucking cup. How brilliant
is that? Ta-Da! We're off to the races. Drinking in the alley. What
a way to shine!!!
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Green Monkey and his Wurst
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| The Green Monkey: The downtown
area of Nashville was well described as "fucking Tijuana for
white people" and "diet New Orleans". (2 quotes you
will find the authors of later in this story)
Lots of big hair, shiny appliqué shirts, funny hats, etc.
I did not see Yosemite Sam or Colonel Sanders, however. I ate a
Cheese Wurst (that's how they spelled it on the sign) for dinner
on Friday, which was basically a well cooked hotdog covered in melted
nacho "cheese." The cheese got everywhere, and, unfortunately,
most of the CW itself went into my stomach. A splattering of "cheese"
ended up on the side of my shoe. It finally flaked off around the
third week of January. There's a nice oil stain there now. After
the marathon poop session I had on Saturday, I think that it should
have been spelled Cheese Worst. While I know that I should have
eaten more that day for the amount of drinking I knew lay ahead
of us (McDump's in Metropolis and the Cheese Worst were all I had
to eat on Friday) I'm not sure that the results would have been
any better had I eaten multiple Cheese Worsts. Things probably would
have been just as sloppy, but 10x as messy…
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| Zodiac13: From there, we stumbled down to
2nd Avenue, which is kind of like a sanitized version of Bourbon Street
mixed with a little Austin TX and Memphis thrown in. I went back into Mulligans
to take advantage of my earlier patronage status to break the "No Public
Restrooms" law that is everywhere up there. It worked. We tried to
go to one place to ride a mechanical bull. Now, I don't know if it was true
or not, but, the girl at the door said that they were closed for a private
party. What strikes me as odd about this, is that she barely opened the
door to tell us this and then quickly shut it in our faces. Methinks the
lady saw potential trouble in the rapidly deteriorating sobriety level within
the whole group. |
| Jay:
"This is fucking white tijuana." (note:he said this on our
walk from Planter's Alley to the bar/nightlife area, aka. Second Avenue)
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| Zodiac13:
Quote of the weekend, for sure.
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| Amorone:
Be warned....Gusto is much like a little dog....he marks everything!
I have never seen someone piss so much , so often in my life. He
would walk 10 ft and have to piss again. The "best" was when he
pissed in a doorway while directly across the street was a cop car
and cop on motorcyle. At the same time, an English couple wearing
their cowboy gear like good little tourists walked by and saw Gusto.
The lady exclaimed in her uppity English accent "was he doing what I think he was doing?!?"
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| ShackleMeNot: On the way to locating a satisfactory
bar, Gusto insisted on pissing in a random doorway on the street, no more
than fifteen feet from Nashville's finest. I myself, couldn't stop laughing.
I thought it was great. During this walk was uttered the quote of the weekend
by Jay I believe, "This is like fucking white Tijuana". We searched
for a bar with a mechanical bull, and upon finding one, we tried to get
in and test out my ID. They saw all of us delinquents and opened the door
a crack, telling us they were closed for a private party.
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| Zodiac13: Okay, up the street for some pool
and fooseball! Excellent. Shacklemenot's "I.D." works like a charm
and we're back in the game at some huge, garish, neon-coated place called
Buffalo's or something like that, I don't really remember. |
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ShackleMeNot: Fake ids are cool, thanks (*name withheld*)
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We went next door to Buffalo Billiards, and I got in no problem. Someone
handed me a beer, and I didn't think twice, started drinking. I don't
think I played any pool, got in on one game of foosball, but Steve (Green
Monkey) is just too damn good. I ended up talking to Tom and his wife,
Liz, a bit. They were cool as hell, and informed me that my favorite band,
Green Day, had once played a concert at their house, and to this day,
Tom is still upset that Tre Cool stole his hat. I was very happy to have
met them. Midway through the night at the bar, Tom disappeared for a moment,
and returned with a tray full of Jaegermeister shots. My God was I terrified.
My body normally doesn't take kindly to that type of drink, but I downed
it with the best of them and immediately broke the seal to prevent future
sickness.
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Man Handling at Buffalo's Billiards
(ShackleMeNot, Gusto and TGM)
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Gusto and Zodiac13 philosophizin' |
Let the beatings being!
(l-r: TGM, Jon, Liz, and Zodiac13) |
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| Zodiac13: I had conversations that I do not
remember now. I remember red felt on the tables. I remember getting my ass
whipped in fooseball by TGM and other people. I remember walking towards
the group, smiling, carrying the drink tray FULL of Jaegermeister like it
was a baby animal. I remember the potion hitting my lips. Fade..................... |
Lil' Jon and Zodiac13 |
TGM and Amorone vs.
ShackleMeNot and Lil' Jon
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ShackleMeNot in deep concentration
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Green Monkey ...Fooseball Hustler |
Beginning of the end....Zodiac13
with a tray of Jaegermeister |
A toast to AoS-fest II !!!
(l-t: AC, TGM...in armpit, Gusto,
Jay,
Amorone, Jon,
ShackleMeNot, and Zodiac13)
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